It's All Coming Together

I have always had hare-brained ideas... right from childhood. From raising a hen as a pet (her name was Chikabiddy short Shanks), raising a pair of rabbits as pets, seeking adventure in a semi-forest (after reading "The Adventures of Souza") to eating soap because it smelled so good!

My precious parents were happily available to support (some, never most) of my ideas and always encouraged my inquisitive mind to explore. As I grew older, thankfully, I began to pursue more reasonably mad schemes like say... quilting!

Hmmm... let me tell the story... Once upon a time, I woke up with the brilliant idea that I needed to collect every single piece of my Mum's George wrappers to make into a quilt. So I went to my mum (mind you, I was at University then) and asked her for pieces of her wrappers for my quilt. Now, for many of you who are not Igbo, Igbo women (in my mum's generation that is) always cut out a piece of a new wrapper because they must attach a rope to the ends of the wrapper to make tying it smoother! I honestly never understood the rationale of that but that seemed to be what my mum and my friend's mums did!

Anyway back to my story, so... I was in luck! Mum gleefully brought out all the colourful pieces of Georges past and present. What a real treasure! She was excited that I wanted to do something so significant. She told me that quilts always tell a story, of love, of a family, a history of generations. She shared the story behind each piece of George. "That's the one your father bought for me last Christmas. That's the one your sister Stella bought for me with her first salary. That's the one your brother Jovita bought for me when he was getting married and so on". So many stories...so many memories.

I was determined to do this right, so I started... and she would occasionally check in on me over the months to see my progress.

Now I was terribly lazy because quilting is no mean piece of work; each piece has to be matched to another..and you have to painstakingly sew the pieces together. Considering that patience wasn't one of my virtues then, I abandoned the project midway. My Mum, God bless her soul, collected my half-done attempt and the pieces and kept it away. In her wisdom, she knew that one day I would come back for it..that day when I needed to touch my past and make sense of my life journey...and that I did...

Today I sit on my bed... much older, much wiser, with these beautiful pieces of cloth strewn across my bed. I've realised that I don't have the expertise to make this quilt, so I decided to get a professional to create these pieces of cloth into a work of art.

Our lives are like those pieces of cloth... each piece tells a story, some tell a story of betrayal, pain and death... Others tell a story of joy, laughter, love and friendship. When we make puny attempts to piece our lives together; and make sense of our life's journey, we often fail miserably. We get tired, discouraged and depressed. It never seems to make sense, as each piece of the story seems so disconnected. Tell me how this terrible tragedy can be transformed into a beautiful story... tell me how the betrayal paints a beautiful picture on the tapestry of his life... How could the multiple miscarriages, or the shame splash colour on the dull greyness of her life...

That's why we need to take the disjointed and disconnected pieces of our lives to God...He is the Master Weaver... No one knows best how to weave the terrible tragedies of our lives together with the glorious moments and create a beautiful tapestry of testimonies. Only He knows how to take the sickness, the depression, the loneliness, the son on drugs and weave to create a story that would shout a loud message to the world. Only Christ knows how to weave our tears into diamond drops on the quilt of our lives; creating such a sparkling radiance that the world stands still to look with awe..

Quilting takes time.. and often we don't get to see the full picture until the very end...Therefore, trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not unto your own understanding.....The Master Quilter is at work.. weaving through the tapestry of your life..it is a beautiful project.. and He always finishes what He starts... He won't get impatient, or tired; neither will He take a break. He is always at work in your life...

Trust Him..He is the Expert at this... no one does it best like Him... trust Him..sooner or later... your story, sorry your quilt will be ready for display..

Remember

When I turned 40, I was tickled pink at the novelty of it all. At least 7 of my closest friends were turning 40 the same year and it was quite a hilarious discussion amongst us all. I particularly didn't see what all the hullaballoo was all about. I practically felt and looked 20 ( okay a tad exaggeration here) and didn't see why anyone would classify me as ancient.

My body still felt the same; young, vibrant and supple. I've been blessed with good health so I couldn't understand what some of my friends were going through. Fast forward to two years later, and I literally feel like a dinosaur with a bad temper to match...

In the past year, everything that was missing in my life became a gaping hole which I felt everyone could see. I hated the litany of ' Madam" that seemed to pour out of everyone's lips when they greeted me. I sat for hours in front of the mirror trying to figure out where wrinkles were and how best to slow down this natural process; even though I couldn't find a single line on my face.

My career seemed to be in limbo... dragging endlessly and constantly hitting the newly formed glass ceiling. I was paralyzed with fear when I realised that I was beginning to compete for the same roles with younger colleagues! My self-confidence as a successful career woman ( or so I thought) began to crumble like a pack of cards...To make it even more appalling, I began to cringe every single time I had to fill out a form and declare my marital status as single. I began to see forms as a wicked plan by conniving men and women to ridicule me for my lack of a "Mrs" title. And church? Ah, that was the worst. When people start to greet you with a courtesy then you know you are truly and officially a church mother! A new desperation began to form in the pit of my stomach. Inside of me, something began to cry out to be recognized. "Don't rule me out yet" it screamed silently, but it seemed the world is going way too fast to pay attention. I cried silently and openly, I couldn't care less who saw and wondered if I was slowly losing it...

I sit in church and stare blankly at the Preacher... nothing made sense... I've heard the promises...I know the word... I know God can do the impossible... yet... I couldn't believe He wanted to do anything spectacular in my life... I wondered if my dreams of having children were turning to ashes in my hands,... I wondered... I cried... I mourned...I forgot...

Yes... I forgot...until this morning.. as I was driving to work... I heard His still small voice tell me "Daughter... you have so much to be thankful for.. count them... list them out... be thankful...I can't reach you in this state... open up the door of thanksgiving so I can come in".

True shame flooded my heart. How could I have forgotten? If I began to recount all my blessings... especially things I took for granted. For instance, the fact that my twenty-something-year-old nephews think I'm a cool aunt and love to hang out with me...that I have friends who would never give me up nor give up on me... or a family who loves me unconditionally, even when I'm being the pesky baby sister.. or a job where I am respected and revered...

I don't know how many of you are going through what I'm going through... I have one word for you... REMEMBER!!!! Don't forget! Count your blessings. You have more going for you than against you. God loves you. You count! You matter! You're not here by accident! You are part of God's awesome plan. Stand still... and find your place in Him and His plan. Buckle your seat belts, because you are about to start the adventure of your life. God is not through with you yet... REMEMBER Abraham, Sarah, Elizabeth, Israel, Joseph, Esther, Ruth, Rahab... REMEMBER!