Turning Point © Kelechi Olawoyin

Often times I came to you

In haste and in a flurry

Asking for this and that

Harried and wearied

Rapidly working out a plan B

Just in case You didn’t give me what I wanted

I would ask you impatiently

Tapping my feet and consulting my diary

Giving you ultimatums

As if you had nothing better to do

Than to satisfy my every whim

I never thought to ask

Why the Master of the Universe

Waited patiently

As I went through a tirade, a tantrum and a sulk respectively

I never questioned why he didn’t call me to order

And exercise his divine will over mine

Time and time again as I came to Him

With one cosmetic need or the other

He gently tried to woo me

Court me; turn my attention away from the toys

Which were really the only reasons I needed Him

He would watch me in Christian gatherings

Screaming in ecstasy as they preached my kind of message

Full of razzmatazz and why I had a right to the finer things of life

Talking christianese as if I really knew God

Quoting scripture in rapid succession

A fake at best and this is not a jest

One day I came into His Presence

Broken and torn, bleeding and battered

Gone were my arrogance and tirades

As I wailed in His comforting arms

I lifted my face for the first time

To behold His Weeping face

And encountered a love that blew me away

His eyes were warm and tender

So full of love for me!

As He His hands gently wiped my tears away

I saw the God who had waited so long

For me to realise I was made for Him

In a flash, all I ever thought was necessary to life

Faded into oblivion

I beheld the lover of my soul and my fire within

I gasped in wonder, touching his scared face

I wept in joy, as He sang over me

Rivers of healing washed over me

Renewing, re-validating, re- directing

I recognised myself as He created me to be

Gloriously living for His Praise

I saw the pain and trials on the path He set before me

Yet I rejoiced over the splendour after the pain

I knew then

That I would walk across hot coals for Him

If that would bring Him glory

Now and then and again,

I would come in a tantrum and sulk

Forgetting how far we’ve walked this love journey

Immediately I’d hear Him call my name

That voice that shakes the foundations of the universe

And oceans hear and flee in awe

Suddenly my temporary insanity vanishes

As I run into the arms of He who loved me first and best

(c) Kelechi Vera Olawoyin (nee Okeahialam)

be Careful Who You Love

Here is a story written in 2008, when someone I knew died from AIDS after being infected by her husband.

The Short Story – Based on a true-life story…


She lay dying in the white, sterile room… colourless save for the mint green divider, forming a shield between her and the other unfortunate soul. It should have been a beautiful day; the warmth of the blazing Lagos sun devoured everything underneath its rays. Yet; she shivered; as she felt the cold fingers of death begin its dance upon her soul…

“I don’t want to be here,” she thought, choking with painful unshed tears. “I have two of the most beautiful children in the world who need me now more than ever… I have dreams unfolding and yet to be unleashed to the world. God, I had a life! Where did I go wrong? Why did my love story become my death sentence?”
She trusted him… She gave herself to him, her dreams, her hopes. She honoured him with the gift of her body; she made love to him with sheer abandon. She was his paramour, his queen, his girlfriend on the side, his wife. She poured the essence of her soul into their love; dancing with ecstasy in their love dance.
She blossomed under his love; his strong arms were her hiding place, wrapped around her in their love dance; She sang in exultation under his tender tutelage. But look! In the comfort of her safe house, her boudoir de l’amour, death came with love. With every kiss, with every passionate stroke, her protector became her murderer…
He died 3 months ago… her husband, her murderer but not before sentencing her to death.. When he made love to them, did he think of her? Of their children? Did he remember her dreams? His promise to protect and cherish her? Surely he should have remembered that with love comes responsibility and the ability to create stability.
“My children, oh my children” she cries silently… would that I would be there your first day in college, your first crush, your first kiss”. A silent scream curls from her throat. “Feel my pain! Feed from it and learn! Love! Yes, Love with abandon! But be careful who you love….Lest your lover also become your murderer…

It's All Coming Together

I have always had hare-brained ideas... right from childhood. From raising a hen as a pet (her name was Chikabiddy short Shanks), raising a pair of rabbits as pets, seeking adventure in a semi-forest (after reading "The Adventures of Souza") to eating soap because it smelled so good!

My precious parents were happily available to support (some, never most) of my ideas and always encouraged my inquisitive mind to explore. As I grew older, thankfully, I began to pursue more reasonably mad schemes like say... quilting!

Hmmm... let me tell the story... Once upon a time, I woke up with the brilliant idea that I needed to collect every single piece of my Mum's George wrappers to make into a quilt. So I went to my mum (mind you, I was at University then) and asked her for pieces of her wrappers for my quilt. Now, for many of you who are not Igbo, Igbo women (in my mum's generation that is) always cut out a piece of a new wrapper because they must attach a rope to the ends of the wrapper to make tying it smoother! I honestly never understood the rationale of that but that seemed to be what my mum and my friend's mums did!

Anyway back to my story, so... I was in luck! Mum gleefully brought out all the colourful pieces of Georges past and present. What a real treasure! She was excited that I wanted to do something so significant. She told me that quilts always tell a story, of love, of a family, a history of generations. She shared the story behind each piece of George. "That's the one your father bought for me last Christmas. That's the one your sister Stella bought for me with her first salary. That's the one your brother Jovita bought for me when he was getting married and so on". So many stories...so many memories.

I was determined to do this right, so I started... and she would occasionally check in on me over the months to see my progress.

Now I was terribly lazy because quilting is no mean piece of work; each piece has to be matched to another..and you have to painstakingly sew the pieces together. Considering that patience wasn't one of my virtues then, I abandoned the project midway. My Mum, God bless her soul, collected my half-done attempt and the pieces and kept it away. In her wisdom, she knew that one day I would come back for it..that day when I needed to touch my past and make sense of my life journey...and that I did...

Today I sit on my bed... much older, much wiser, with these beautiful pieces of cloth strewn across my bed. I've realised that I don't have the expertise to make this quilt, so I decided to get a professional to create these pieces of cloth into a work of art.

Our lives are like those pieces of cloth... each piece tells a story, some tell a story of betrayal, pain and death... Others tell a story of joy, laughter, love and friendship. When we make puny attempts to piece our lives together; and make sense of our life's journey, we often fail miserably. We get tired, discouraged and depressed. It never seems to make sense, as each piece of the story seems so disconnected. Tell me how this terrible tragedy can be transformed into a beautiful story... tell me how the betrayal paints a beautiful picture on the tapestry of his life... How could the multiple miscarriages, or the shame splash colour on the dull greyness of her life...

That's why we need to take the disjointed and disconnected pieces of our lives to God...He is the Master Weaver... No one knows best how to weave the terrible tragedies of our lives together with the glorious moments and create a beautiful tapestry of testimonies. Only He knows how to take the sickness, the depression, the loneliness, the son on drugs and weave to create a story that would shout a loud message to the world. Only Christ knows how to weave our tears into diamond drops on the quilt of our lives; creating such a sparkling radiance that the world stands still to look with awe..

Quilting takes time.. and often we don't get to see the full picture until the very end...Therefore, trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not unto your own understanding.....The Master Quilter is at work.. weaving through the tapestry of your life..it is a beautiful project.. and He always finishes what He starts... He won't get impatient, or tired; neither will He take a break. He is always at work in your life...

Trust Him..He is the Expert at this... no one does it best like Him... trust Him..sooner or later... your story, sorry your quilt will be ready for display..

Remember

When I turned 40, I was tickled pink at the novelty of it all. At least 7 of my closest friends were turning 40 the same year and it was quite a hilarious discussion amongst us all. I particularly didn't see what all the hullaballoo was all about. I practically felt and looked 20 ( okay a tad exaggeration here) and didn't see why anyone would classify me as ancient.

My body still felt the same; young, vibrant and supple. I've been blessed with good health so I couldn't understand what some of my friends were going through. Fast forward to two years later, and I literally feel like a dinosaur with a bad temper to match...

In the past year, everything that was missing in my life became a gaping hole which I felt everyone could see. I hated the litany of ' Madam" that seemed to pour out of everyone's lips when they greeted me. I sat for hours in front of the mirror trying to figure out where wrinkles were and how best to slow down this natural process; even though I couldn't find a single line on my face.

My career seemed to be in limbo... dragging endlessly and constantly hitting the newly formed glass ceiling. I was paralyzed with fear when I realised that I was beginning to compete for the same roles with younger colleagues! My self-confidence as a successful career woman ( or so I thought) began to crumble like a pack of cards...To make it even more appalling, I began to cringe every single time I had to fill out a form and declare my marital status as single. I began to see forms as a wicked plan by conniving men and women to ridicule me for my lack of a "Mrs" title. And church? Ah, that was the worst. When people start to greet you with a courtesy then you know you are truly and officially a church mother! A new desperation began to form in the pit of my stomach. Inside of me, something began to cry out to be recognized. "Don't rule me out yet" it screamed silently, but it seemed the world is going way too fast to pay attention. I cried silently and openly, I couldn't care less who saw and wondered if I was slowly losing it...

I sit in church and stare blankly at the Preacher... nothing made sense... I've heard the promises...I know the word... I know God can do the impossible... yet... I couldn't believe He wanted to do anything spectacular in my life... I wondered if my dreams of having children were turning to ashes in my hands,... I wondered... I cried... I mourned...I forgot...

Yes... I forgot...until this morning.. as I was driving to work... I heard His still small voice tell me "Daughter... you have so much to be thankful for.. count them... list them out... be thankful...I can't reach you in this state... open up the door of thanksgiving so I can come in".

True shame flooded my heart. How could I have forgotten? If I began to recount all my blessings... especially things I took for granted. For instance, the fact that my twenty-something-year-old nephews think I'm a cool aunt and love to hang out with me...that I have friends who would never give me up nor give up on me... or a family who loves me unconditionally, even when I'm being the pesky baby sister.. or a job where I am respected and revered...

I don't know how many of you are going through what I'm going through... I have one word for you... REMEMBER!!!! Don't forget! Count your blessings. You have more going for you than against you. God loves you. You count! You matter! You're not here by accident! You are part of God's awesome plan. Stand still... and find your place in Him and His plan. Buckle your seat belts, because you are about to start the adventure of your life. God is not through with you yet... REMEMBER Abraham, Sarah, Elizabeth, Israel, Joseph, Esther, Ruth, Rahab... REMEMBER!

To Love A Child....

Haunting eyes.. Sunken sockets... A frail body holding on tenaciously, hopefully, to life.
She stares at me, through the crack of the door.
"Could this be the day?", her eyes seemed to say.. A mummy to take her home and love her for her own?

I tear my eyes away
From the riveting hope filled eyes
I'm only here to give my alms,
I cannot afford to let my treacherous heart wander, to be captured by those chocolate dark eyes.

Fleeing from the House of dreams,
Of little girls and little boys
Holding on to hope and faith
"Could this be the day?" they seem to ask.. " A Mummy and Daddy to love and keep?"

Days fade into weeks, weeks roll into months.
Yet I am in prison
Incancerated by dark haunting eyes, set in a sweet, heart shaped face.
" Come for me", they speak in my dreams...
" I am yours to love and nurture, I'm yours to cuddle and raise".

Decisions, files, interviews.
Oh what red tape to cut to simply love a child!
As I sweetly kiss her goodnight,
Dark , haunting eyes turn to warm, liquid eyes of love
" Goodnight Mummy.. I love you", she whispers
The sweetness of her voice sets my heart on fire
The need to protect my child and keep her from harm wells up rather fiercely within me
Love burns bightly within me, a love only a mother would know..
"sleep tight my darling... Mummy loves you more..."

I wrote this poem while thinking of adoption and those who have the courage to adopt.
What an honour to be like God! Why? We also have been adopted by God because Jesus had the courage to love us. It is such a privilege to nurture and raise one whom life has given no chance to survive. lord, that I will also have this privilege.. Would be such an awesome honour!
Thinking of adoption? Just do it!
 

Someone needs you...

Loneliness can't be explained sometimes... it is a state of feeling totally alone and often 'un-needed' in this fast paced world of ours. It shows up after a bridal or baby shower, a romantic wedding, when you drive home after a marvelous lunch with your best girls; when the silence of your home hits you at the door you night after night.When you cling unconsciously to that dying moments of a wonderful movie, or when you look longingly at a couple in love. You tell yourself you're alright, you're doing good; and sure you are. You are grateful to God for His many blessings and the love of family and friends...but then sometimes... you feel this gnawing emptiness... this longing to belong to someone, to be claimed by the one who loves you truly?

If you are a Lady in waiting like me, and the wait has become a solid structure that seems to have no intention of fading into oblivion.. this is for you. Somewhere out there... someone is longing to be everything to you... I pray for you today my lady in waiting, that he will reveal himself to you according to the timing of God. You are precious, you are beautiful, you are beloved... Never, ever forget that..



Sister girl, you are Everything To Somebody
Right now at this very minute
Someone is very proud of you
Someone is thinking of you
Someone cares about you
Someone misses you

Someone wants to talk to you
Someone wants to be your friend
Someone hopes you aren't in trouble
Someone wants to give you all the support you need.
Someone wants to hold your hand
Someone hopes everything turns out all right

Someone wants you to be happy
Someone wants to get very close to you
Someone wants you to spend all your life celebrating your successes
Someone wants to give you a gift
Someone think you ARE a gift
Someone hopes you are not too cold, or too hot

Someone wants to hug you
Someone loves you
Someone wants to lavish you with everything you'll ever want in life
Someone admires your strength
Someone is thinking of you and smiling
Someone wants to be your shoulder to cry on

Someone wants you to go out and have a lot of fun
Someone thinks the world of you
Someone wants to protect you
Someone would do anything for you
Someone wants you to be forgiven
Someone is grateful for your forgiveness
Someone wants you to go out and have a lot of fun
Someone thinks the world of you
Someone wants to protect you
Someone would do anything for you
Someone wants you to be forgiven
Someone is grateful for your forgiveness

Someone wants to laugh with you at all times
Someone remembers you and wishes you were there
Someone is praising God for you
Someone needs to know that your love is unconditional
Somebody values your advice
Someone wants to tell you how much he cares

Someone wants to stay up watching old movies with you
Someone wants to share his dreams with you
Someone wants to hold you in his arms
Someone wants YOU to hold him in your arms
Someone treasures your spirit
Someone wishes he could STOP time because of you

Someone praises God for your friendship and love
Someone wants you to put a little trust in him
Someone wishes that things didn't have to change
Someone loves you for who you are
Someone loves the way you make him feel
Someone wants to be with you

Someone is hoping he can grow old with you
Someone hears a song that reminds him of you
Someone wants you to know he’s are there for you
Someone is glad that you're his friend
Someone wants to be your friend
Someone stayed up all night thinking about you

Someone is alive because of you
Someone is remorseful after losing your Friendship
Someone is wishing that you would notice him
Someone wants to get to know you better
Someone believes that you are his soul mate
Someone wants to be near you

Someone misses your guidance and advice
Someone values your guidance and advice
Someone has faith in you
Someone trusts you
Someone needs your support
Someone needs you to have faith in him

Someone needs you to let him be your friend and more...

(Anonymous)

I'll do it later by Attracta Okeahialam - Abulu

An amazing article written by on of my elder sisters...

Not now.   I’ll do it later.  Maybe tomorrow.   I’ll do it when I have some time.  I’ll get to it later.  I’ll find some time

How many of you in this room have said that to yourself, your child, your spouse or significant other, your boss?   Why do we do that?  Is it due to lack of confidence, fear of failure, laziness, too much to do, finances?  

As I reflect on the things I have on the to-do-list of my life and all the things I have put off,   I have come to realize that I have wasted a lot of time planning it but not actually making moves to execute them.     

Think of the parent who never too took time to play with his child and before they knew it, the child had become a grown-up, a stranger and had no close relationship with that parent, or the person who never said I love you or paid any attention to their significant other, until it was too late and the relationship was broken beyond repair, or the unforgiving person who held a grudge until the offender had passed away and it was too late to say “I am sorry” or “I forgive you”?   Think of the person who wanted that particular job, but did not prepare for it or even apply for it?  That raise or promotion you never asked for?  That second career you never pursued?  Or that other thing you are passionate about but never make time to do?

 I have always wanted to learn how to play the piano, learn how to sew, go to Alaska, to see the Northern Lights.   I always wanted to see the Niagara Falls,  and one of the wonders of the world, The Victoria Falls, in Zambia and Zimbabwe,  East Africa (of which the explorer David Livingstone remarked when he first saw them "scenes so lovely must have been gazed upon by angels in their flight".).   I have always wanted go up the Sears Tower  in Chicago or the London Eye, in London, to see the Opera house in Sidney,  Australia, the great Wall of China, and another wonder of the world, the magnificent Taj Mahal monument, built in India by Emperor Shah Jahan in 1653, in memory of his deceased wife Queen Mumtaz.   Seems a lot, but then, not really.  These things take a lifetime

These are some of the things in my life’s’ to-do list.  Some I have not accomplished because of family responsibilities, finances, some because of fear and some because I just have not made the time.  Some I have no clue why.

One thing I have come to realize, ladies and gentlemen that time’s a passing!  Today is the day!  Now is the time to do the things that excite you, make you tick, things you are passionate about and dream about.  Time waits for no one.  Cliché but so true! 

As for me, I will wait no more.  I will accomplish the ones I can, and the rest will have to go into the dustbin of history.

 Copyright 2011